pizzaforpresident:

splintercellconviction:

unit04:

i fuckin hate EGGS THEY WEIRD ME OUT EGGS ARE SO WEIRD

“heard u were talkin shit”

naesnark:

genderterrorist:

OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO HORRIBLY PERFECT

I LOVE IT

This is tragically true

stylesgrin:

this is the happiest picture i’ve seen in a long time

anna-mator:

demigodofmypants:

senzaspazi:

• YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND
• put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite

• YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND
• carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired

• OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT
• broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself. 

• WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA
• collection of politely worded love letters.

 #So basically if Tom Hiddleston was a rapper

tsarcasm:

trapsical:

I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.

this story was wild from start to finish

lolsofunny:

zebablah:

is this snake fucking serious 

like was that actually fucking necessary 

(lol here!)

supernatural-aka-tearsandgay:

wiener-cest:

demeaniac:

STOP SCROLLING

straighten your back, mate

NOW GO ON

woah thanks i really needed that today

tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time

FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME

“So what kind of skills can you bring to the company?”

Hahahah omg, this is soooo the kinda shit you say to companies… Don’t forget the famous answer to that question :

- What is your biggest flaw?

- I am a perfectionist?